Today’s couples counseling for high-stress marriages is around 75% effective. It has increased from 50% in the 1980s. This is due to a shift in counseling methods to Emotionally-Focused Therapy.
So, how can you tell if you need a marriage counselor? We’ve compiled a list of five signs it is time to seek help from a counselor. Read on to find out if your marriage could benefit from marriage counseling.
1. Your Communication Is Lacking
There are many ways that communication breaks down in a relationship. You and your partner may not be talking, or you may only be having negative conversations. Either way, this is a sign that you need help from a counselor.
Once communication in a marriage has broken down, it can be hard to get it back. You or your partner may leave conversations feeling shamed or disregarded. These feelings can be hard to get past when trying to communicate effectively.
A marriage counselor can help a couple communicate with each other. They provide language that is productive and non-judgemental. It allows couples to identify the issues and work through them without blame.
2. One or Both of You Have Been Unfaithful
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy found that 15 percent of women and 25 percent of men had an extramarital affair. Infidelity can ruin the trust built in a marriage and is often the reason for couples counseling. Infidelity encompasses more than physical intimacy as well.
Hiding anything from your partner can be seen as a betrayal. If you are thinking of or are already having a physical or emotional affair, it may be time to seek help for affair recovery. Finding help sooner rather than later can save a marriage from no return.
3. Your Arguments Are Unproductive
Arguments are normal and expected in any relationship. It only becomes a problem when the fights turn hurtful or repetitive. Using blaming language during an argument will not solve problems and only makes both partners feel worse.
If you find you and your partner are having the same arguments over and over, you may need the help of a professional. Marriage therapy can productively diffuse fights. They teach couples how to fight fair and solve problems calmly and without blame.
4. Short on Intimacy
Intimacy can help couples feel close to each other, both physically and emotionally. When things cool down in this area of a marriage, it can cause serious problems. Sometimes, sex becomes another to-do list item instead of something to look forward to.
Outside of the bedroom, little things can help keep the flame alive. Small kisses and frequent touching can make your partner feel loved. If you find this is lacking and aren’t sure how to bring it up with your partner, meet with a marriage counselor.
They will help you start conversations about this issue. It can often be a touchy subject with one or both partners, so having the help of a counselor can help.
5. You Are Growing Apart
Couples who have been together for many years can find themselves growing apart. It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day busyness and forget to connect with your partner. It leads to couples forgetting why they fell in love in the first place.
When you fill your life with other things and don’t make time for each other, you can lose your connection as a couple. A counselor can help you rediscover the past you’ve built with your spouse. They will remind you of your history together and how that is not an easy thing to get with another person.
Find a Marriage Counselor Today
There are many ways couples can grow apart or drive a wedge in their marriage. If you find your marriage is in trouble or you are worried, get in touch with a marriage counselor today.
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